Monday, October 17, 2011

Things I've done that I've regretted doing, and other things.

1 year old: I don't even remember
2 years old: Probably did something stupid like hit my head on the table
3 years old: I have no idea.
4 years old: stepped on a bee while playing in my front yard.
5 years old: hit my little sister in the stomach so hard she almost threw up, walked in on a boy in the bathroom during my kindergarten class.
6 years old: 1st grade, met a boy and made fun of him for his buck teeth
7 years old: 2nd grade, wrote a book about my life and lied about my birthday
8 years old: 3rd grade, started stealing candy from my parents
9 years old: 4th grade, stole a rock from a public store. Got in MASSIVE trouble.
10 years old: 5th grade, told my crush of 5 years that I liked him. Creeped him out. Moved to Colorado in September. Didn't stand up for myself on my first day of school. Found a new crush. Wished my sister had never been born. Started stealing massive amounts of money from my parents. Wrote poetry about horses and nature, and how life was beautiful. Listened to a ton of disney music and other such things as that. Gained a new best friend who's stuck with me through it all.
11 years old: 6th grade, decided to stop talking to everyone but 2 people. Had no friends. Beat Elijah V in basketball, though he still won't admit it to this day. Tortured myself with my allergies. Had a pink and orange room.
12 years old: 7th grade, dated quite a few people. Stole money from my parents all the time. Gave up on school and on life. Stopped caring except when I needed to. Was in the theatre program, helping out with the techies. Never auditioned for a play or musical, ever. Started exploring more into the world of sex using youtube videos and porn. (not my best idea.) Had a really bad relationship with my little sister. Hated my mom. Distanced myself from my dad.
13 years old: 8th grade, more distance. More friends that don't know anything about me. Hung out with some of the wrong people. Moved at the end of the year.
14 years old: freshman year. Cut for the first time. Went "emo". Made lots of new friends. didn't  give a shit about homework or school. Failed 6 total classes that year out of 14. Wrote poetry about death and bleeding. Wrote a poem called Secrets that I'm still proud of today. Became obsessed with Edgar Allen Poe and his poetry and stories, particularly The Raven. Had my first kiss. Fell in "love" about 10 times, and had my heart broken every single time. Met a new best friend. He's just like me. Dyed my hair black. Went anorexic. Lost 20 pounds. Gained a new personality and more self confidence.
15 years old: sophomore year. Cut for the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th times. Started using serrated knives for pain. Started drawing. Made a ton of new friends. Became popular. Retook algebra. Felt loved. Believed a guy who hurt me. Drove two people to attempt suicide because I didn't love them back. Began to hate myself. Realized that I hurt everyone I meet. Tried distance again. became loud and obnoxious. Failed 3 classes. Started eating more. Gained back the weight. Dyed my hair red, brown, purple, and black. Hovered on the very edge of being concieted. Wrote half of 3 books.
16 years old: junior year. Not regretting much. Joined the Movement and Diversity club. Saved 6 lives. Met a ton of new people. Gained some friends that were good for me and lost some that were bad. Have a much better relationship with my parents. Dyed my hair all black again, then bleached some of it, and tried to dye it blue. Broke someone's heart so much that they almost killed themselves. Almost tried cheerleading. Trying to get into theater. Lost my virginity, which is something I definitely don't regret. Fell in love with the boy I'm currently dating. His name is Austyn. I taught someone how to feel again, using poetry. They were sad. Tried to protect the ones that I hurt. Made up a new word. Started a couple books, but stopped writing them. Fell in love with music, and art. Started caring more about school. Learning how to drive. Inspired a couple people. Saved some more lives. Kept writing, started drawing and singing. Made more friends. Gained a best friend named Eric, one named Ainsley, and a couple more. (Kimmy, Courtney, Edyn, Kenton... ect ect.) Submitted my poetry to a contest, still waiting for the results. Cried because Bella almost died in Twilight. Cried because Toothless almost dies in How to Train Your Dragon. Cried because of the love between Severus Snape and Lily Potter, even if it was one sided. Cried because I was afraid. Discovered some of my fears. Broke my own heart. Healed it up again. Taught someone the beauty of the world with one simple word. Gained self confidence, felt proud, felt loved.

1 comment:

  1. Ms. Willowheart clearly has the soul of a poet. Good, powerful writing with a strength about it.

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